Monday, November 24, 2008

Another sighting

I saw Little Red Fox again on Friday, Nov. 21. I was on my way to the mailbox when my neighbour called me over. Actually it was her dog that wanted to play and when he wouldn't listen to her, I walked over to her front door, the dog naturally following behind.

She asked me to come in and see her new kitchen. I'd been wanting to see it for a while. Today was the day! It really was splendid! After about 15 minutes or so, I left to continue my walk to the post boxes at the end of the street.

Timing is everything. A few houses down the road I happened to look over at another neighbour's property and there was Little Red Fox staring at me. I was surprised - for I didn't expect this. She (I think it was she this time because she was smaller than the one I'd seen previously), looked right at me. Then, turned unhurriedly and walked towards the driveway and into the back yard.

Wow! What is the message here? I think I need to go back and look up more meanings for Fox. Or else just keep my eyes and ears open to see what comes next.

Friday, November 21, 2008

A Very Special Day

Snow falls softly outside my sitting room window. It is early morning and a pale November sun struggles to filter through dense grey clouds; the diffusion of light lending an eerie quality to the landscape.

As I peer through the curtains, this eeriness envelops me, taunting me to peek into the Unknown. Muted clouds, heavy with snow play tricks with my mind, as if in the blink of an eye, their shifting haze could reveal a secret portal to another world.

Shaking off this unease, I force myself to focus on planning the day ahead. My husband is still asleep upstairs, so I have some time to myself before starting in on our daily routine. Early morning is my favorite time of day to meditate, to dream, to write, cocooned in the warmth and safety of my home.

I pick up my pen intending to begin Morning Pages, but once again my eyes are drawn to the mesmerizing snow as it falls outside my window. Once again I feel the pull of this strange, unsettling, yet gentle light where time feels distorted. What day is it? What time is it? What millennium is it? It doesn’t matter.

Sitting here sipping my morning coffee, cat curled up on my lap, I am transported back into the past, on this day 34 years ago.

It was another day starting out just like this. I was a young mother at home in our tiny apartment, awaiting the birth of my second child. My husband had left for work – school actually.

We were planning to have this baby once my husband graduated from technical college, in the spring, but our timing was off (who can plan a baby’s birth date, anyway?) and she was due to arrive sooner than expected -this winter.

Peter, my firstborn, was an induced birth, so I had no idea what to expect this time around. I remember looking out the window that snowy day, as my 2-year-old son played quietly with his toys. The light was grey and dull, leaving me feeling restless, as if there were no markers to hold on to; nothing to indicate whether it was morning or evening.

I dutifully washed up the breakfast dishes; then waddled into the bedroom to put on some fresh clothes. As I was dressing, I noticed some blood-tinged mucus in my panties. This must be “show”, a signal that labor was beginning.

Ohhhhh, I was tingly with anticipation – and scared! I had no idea what to do next. There were no contractions, just an annoying ache in my lower back. Was it time to go to the hospital? I was alone in the apartment with my little boy and the snow was coming down relentlessly!

I willed myself to calm down. Then I called my doctor. The secretary put me through right away.
“I’m having show” I said in a trembling voice.
“Stay home. Go to bed. This is no day to have a baby!”
I was shocked! Here I was looking for guidance, reassurance, a little direction and that’s the advice I got?

So, I did the next best thing – I called my mother.

“Well, that wasn’t very nice, coming from a doctor” was her comment. I don’t even remember what else she said, but I do remember feeling soothed after talking to Mom.
The day progressed, my contractions started, hubby came home from school, and the storm raged. By ten o’clock that evening I knew I had to go to the hospital.

A neighbor down the hall took little Peter for the night. We had no car, so called for a taxi, but there were none available. Everybody who absolutely needed to be somewhere would have called a cab, instead of battling the snowy streets themselves.

Babies come when they’re ready, but having faith in the Goddess to make things right was the belief I clung to. And, miraculously, before too much longer my brother-in-law (who lived in the same apartment building) appeared at our front door. He had just come back from work, exhausted and hungry, but took the time to drive us to the hospital.

Fortunately, the snow plough had just been around (the Goddess was busy tonight) and streets were relatively clear, making driving slow, but much better than before. We didn’t have far to go, but I was relieved once the bright lights of the hospital came into view, shining like a beacon to welcome us in from the storm.

It was around midnight by the time I was finally admitted to the maternity ward.
Things progressed smoothly from then on and my beautiful baby girl was born at 2:30 in the morning, weighing just 6 ½ lbs. She was oblivious to the falling snow and hazardous road conditions of the outside world. Inside the hospital we were warm and snuggly. I gazed lovingly into her eyes and thanked the Goddess once again.

Snow continues to swirl about outside my window. Chickadees hop and play in the hedges, seemingly unaffected by the dim light of a timeless morning.

I have a feeling that Old Souls choose this mysterious light to manifest here on Earth. Maybe the Veil is thinner, at this time, making their passage easier as they softly tunnel through the fog, and into Being. Or maybe the shifting clouds and subtle light allow these wise, crafty Old Souls to slip through and into our Time.

Newer Souls may need the luminescence of a full moon in her Mother phase to guide them on their journey through the birth canal into this Earth life.

The cat stretches lazily and then jumps off my lap. As I get up off my chair and head towards the kitchen, I smile to myself, remembering that wonderous day when my daughter, Brenda came into the world. She herself has a daughter now and is expecting a son this February.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Red Fox

Yesterday, I followed my intuition and left the house to go for a walk. It was cold so I bundled up well. I was hoping the mail carriers had come to fill up the post boxes at the end of my street.
I was in luck. They were just filling the postal boxes. Even though it was early, I had a feeling that the mail would be there.

A movement caught the corner of my eye. I turned to see what I thought was a dog, but really was a little red fox with a bushy brown tail!
He was bounding through the leaves of my neighbour's property.
As soon as he saw me, he turned right around, and quick as a wink, was gone.

I looked through the trees, but couldn't find him.
This was the first time I've ever seen a real live fox.
I didn't expect to see one in a residential area, but we do get deer in the winter and rabbit in the spring.

As soon as I got home I made a cup of hot chocolate and took out Ted Andrew's book called Animal Speak.

I like to look up the meaning of animals that cross my path. This is what the book said:

"The red fox is a powerful totem. It is a totem that speaks of the need to develop or the awakening of camouflage, invisibility, and shapeshifting. It is one of the most uniquely skilled and ingenious animals of nature. It can teach these skills to those whose life it enters.
There are 21 species of fox.........Card 21 in the tarot deck is the World. It is a card that reflects a new world opening up, that the process of creation is beginning.

The fox has a long history of magic and cunning associated with it. Because it is a creature of the night, it is often imbued with supernatural power. It is most visible at the times of Dawn and Dusk, the "Between Times", when the magical world and the world in which we live intersect...... Because it is an animal of the "Between Times and Places" , it can be a guide to enter the Faerie Realm. Its appearance at such times can often signal that the Faerie Realm is about to open for the individual."

Welcome little red fox. I am grateful you showed yourself to me yesterday.
Thank you for your gifts.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My Goodness!

My dearest Sherry,
I haven't even started this blog.
And yet I have a visitor.

So I will begin.
I was born on All Saint's Day - November 1.
I never felt close to saints or religious figures. I grew up feeling resistant to religion, even though I wanted to "belong".
Magic drew me like a moth to a flame. Dragons and castles and witches and mermaids. How I longed for that world to be mine.

Then I discovered there was a Magic world called Wicca, Paganism, Druidism, Native American Spirituality - to name few, where people respected the Earth. They lived by listening to her whispers, watching her signs, and working in tandem. If they cut down a tree to build a home or a cook fire, they first asked permission from the tree spirit. If they drew water from a well or fished in a stream, they gave back to the Source.

Then I found out that I was really born on the Day of the Dead. A day when the Veil was the thinnest. No wonder I was drawn to the world of Spirit. No wonder I feel relaxed and happy sitting beside the ocean, walking through a forest or breathing in the sunrise.

Now things felt right, within my body, mind and soul.

Blogging has opened many doors for me. I started by blogging about my husband's illness. How difficult this Caregiving path is. How sad to see hubby suffer. My feelings were validated. Shared. I made friends. I felt support from all over the world. I admit I was surprised at just how caring other people could be. People I don't even know. But - we are all one, aren't we?

I started with Caregiving, felt it was too sad and angry, so went to gardening blogs, which cheered me up considerably. Gardeners are wonderful people, respecting and nurturing the soil. From there I met others. People who blogged about spirits, and faeries, and imaginary characters. Well, if they could blog about enchanted forests and whimsical creatures, then why couldn't I?

Home of the Faeries is my inner world.
My Caregiving blog was my outer world. I no longer want to be identified solely with Hubby's illness.
I want to voice.... me.

Won't you join me on a journey where we will dance with elves, sing with birds, hum with bees, stomp with trolls and gnomes, swim with mermaids and do whatever we please?

Welcome to my Creative World.
Let us play.