Home of the Faeries

A New Chapter: Across the miles....

2011-03-29T19:58:00.002-04:00

.....over the bridges, through the tunnels, around the lake, under the lake, behind the rock, into the clouds. Whirling, swirling, transitioning through the realms. Wondering what's on the Other Side. What happens in the Afterlife?

There is an Afterlife. I have no doubt. This is my belief, my experience. You may not agree with me. But that's what makes life interesting.

David has given me signs from the Other Side. From pens lying in the grass to the quiet stillness of a butterfly; a song on our anniversary, a heart in the clouds; a gentle shaking of our bed, an airy kiss on my cheek; a cardinal chirping out a special message just for me. I feel his love and encouragement every day. I draw cards every morning and most often pick the Love card from my Gentle Wisdom of the Faerie Realm deck (created by Sasha St.John). There is another deck I use too, called The Teachings of Abraham Well-Being Cards by Esther and Jerry Hicks. This card came up a lot after David died:

"I am Life Everlasting; I am an Eternal Being." And on the flip side:
"You cannot die, you are everlasting life. In grace you may choose to relax and allow your gentle transition back into your Nonphysical state of Pure Positive Energy (your natural state is Foreverness.)"

I love that card. It gives me hope and reinforces my belief that David's spirit is just on the Other Side, not too far. It's just over the rainbow.

But what's it like on the Other Side? What do they "do"? I don't think Spirits "do" anything. They are not human, so they must "be". What is the purpose of their "being" in this place of spirit, this heavenly realm. Do they have assignments? Is their purpose to protect us human beings down here on Earth? To teach? Or to send out reams of wonderful Love and Light to all.

Hmmm, and another thought. What does David need from me? My love? He's got that. Prayers? He's got that too. What more can I give? And how can I know the answers to my questions?

This morning I thought I'd start with cards. That seems to be our most effective avenue of communication.
So with this question in mind I drew a card from my Well-Being deck. "What are you doing (or being) up in the Spiritual Realm?"
The card I pulled had a picture of a bird flying in the blue sky; her nest was in the foreground. Inside the nest were 3 blue eggs. "I'm not here to fix anything; I'm here for fun." And on the flip side: "You are not here to fix anything because nothing is broken, but everything is continually changing and expanding. Release your struggle and seek joy and fun, and in doing so, you will align with the fantastic expanding rhythm of this Universe."

Okay - he's having fun! That's a good start. Now I know he's released his struggle (with lung disease), but what I needed to hear was that he left his body with joy. Not pain or fear, and is now aligned with the rhythm of the Universe. That has a ring of truth to it. So is this the beginning of the story? Will I learn more in the coming weeks or years?

The next card I drew was from the Faerie deck. On it was a picture of a maternal-looking faerie sitting in a chair made of tree branches, her feet on the roots. In her hand she holds a glowing egg (hmmm, more eggs. Eggs represent birth, a new beginning). The word underneath the picture is Nurturing. The meaning "It is an incredible gift to use your energy to support and nurture others. Take nothing from those you are serving and expect nothing in return. You will actually receive more grace and energy than you give."

Nurturing, what a kind and gentle vibration that is. Is he being Nurtured? Or is he doing the Nurturing? Or does it matter? Perhaps he is experiencing both.

I feel good about drawing these cards. I like the messages. So when it feels right, I will ask David about his experience in this new realm, and see if a pattern emerges.
"He's gone to a Better Place," people say. Is it?

In The Light

2010-12-04T19:37:00.003-05:00

A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave
My memories, my thoughts are imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you.
Do not for one moment think that you have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.
In the corner, in the hall, the car, the yard ~ these are the places I stay with you.
My spirit rises every time you pray for me, but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish; it grows stronger.
I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter in your mind,
I place our memories for you to see.
We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.
I still crave your understanding
and long for the many words of prayer
and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.
As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up all the strength of my new world
to make you notice me.
Impressed by your grief,
I try to impress my love deeper into your consciousness.
As you should, I call out to the Heavens for help.
You should know that the fountain of youth does exist.
My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me new found energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the Light.
Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you, just as you protected me so many times.
Talk to me and somehow I will find a way to answer you.
Mother, Father, son or daughter, it makes no difference.
Brother, sister, lover, husband or wife, it makes no difference.
Whatever our connection ~ friend or even foe ~ I see you with my new eyes.
I am learning to help wherever you are, wherever I am needed.
This can be done because I am in the Light.
When you feel despair, reach out to me. I will come.
My love for you truly does transcend from Heaven to Earth.
Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest that you had
when we were together in the physical sense.
You owe this to me, but more importantly,
you owe it to yourself.
Life continues for both of us.
I am with you because I love you
and I am in the Light.
-- Author Unknown

Welcome Home, Son...

2010-07-19T20:01:00.004-04:00

Thanks Dad. It's good to see you. It's been so long!

I know, I know. I was called away too soon by Earth's time. I'm sorry to have left you when you were in medical school, but I was needed here. Your Mother carried on for both of us.

Oh, David, my firstborn. Come let me look at you.

Mom! I've missed you!

I've been waiting for you; to help you adjust. Look over here, your grandmother wants to welcome you too.

Hi Granny! I've missed you too.

Hello David. My, you look just like you did when you were a little boy. Haven't changed a bit. But you know that from now on, you will be feeling younger and lighter as time goes on. Not Earth time, of course...

Well, I do feel much lighter. I can fly. And I can breathe......

Son, what's that light down there?

Aww, Dad......Wendy's grieving. She's lit a candle and placed it under the oak tree. Grandfather Oak she calls it. The candle is to guide me towards the light, but I didn't think I needed any help. The Light was so strong on its own.

Ah, David. Don't you know? Every prayer, every thought, every candle or light sent your way sends loving energy with it. Energy that you need to transform into your new being.
Wendy needs signs to show her that the two of you haven't lost your connection. She needs to know you are in a harmonious and peaceful place.
And you need her love and energy to guide you gently and smoothly, along your new path.
You have a lot to learn....

Opening the Portal...

2010-07-13T20:03:00.004-04:00

A hush settled over the faerie gathering.

All activity slowed and grew silent.
Waiting.....

"What's happening?" ventured the Young Faerie.
"Hush," admonished the Elder. "Do not stir the energies."

The Young Faerie closed her mouth and watched.
Nothing happened.
She grew restless, wanting to move. A frown from Elder stilled her movements once more.

And then she heard it. Faintly at first. A soft tinkling like tiny silver faerie bells. A shiver of sound. One by one the faeries lifted their faces towards this beautiful music. One by one each face was illuminated.... glowing..... as if lighting a room full of candles.

A soft vibration, a shimmer, rippled through the group.
It is Time Now.
Lift your voices in song.
Spread your wings in flight.
Surround this Beautiful Soul with Love as we guide him into the Afterlife.

A Soul Preparing to Leave....

2010-06-09T08:45:00.008-04:00

The faeries are restless; a stirring of the Air; a gentle breeze.
A coming together of the villages.

A Soul is preparing to leave Earth.
Faeries gather around to assist.

They weave fine clothes, sewn with serenity, peace, and homecoming.

They sew gauzy wings, full of love, music, and swiftness.

What's going on, a young faerie asks?

A Soul is preparing to leave the Earth Plane and we must help.

Why?
Because this is what we do. Otherwise there would be no meeting of Worlds. The Humans would stay in their World and we would stay in ours. No Veil. No Crossings. Each World separate.

There was much movement in the Air. Faeries coming and going. Each one performing a function. Each one important in the Ceremony. Lots to do. An ebb and flow to the movement. Each one connected by the heart. Each one knowing just what was needed.

When? asks the young faerie.

We don't know.
Only the Great Spirit knows the answer to this.

We just prepare.
We just do what we are guided to do.

But what if the Human is not ready?
Ahhhh, then we wait.
And sometimes we leave that Human alone for a while and go on to someone else.

The faeries had a party last night......

2010-03-24T20:46:00.004-04:00

.....and sprinkled powdered sugar over everything.... Oh, they are naughty.....Spring was here only yesterday....

Stone door is really an entrance to the Otherworld.....

Powdered sugar frosting the evergreens.....turning them into a delicious delicacy....

The skirt of this ancient oak tree is covered in white powdery icing sugar. I think the faeries overdid it this time, don't you?

Yippeeee!!

2010-03-10T20:15:00.001-05:00

I have heard from a book publisher!
They want to publish my book!!!

Yippeeeeee - I am over the moon!!!

I started writing Reading Between The Lines about 15 years ago. Put it down, picked it up, life happened, etc. etc. Send it off to a publisher 9 years ago. Got rejected. Sent it off to another one. Same story. Gave up.

Over the past year, I'd begun looking at publishers once again.
Well, yesterday, I got the good news! It will take time.
My book will come out in about a year and a half.
But the process has begun!
I am sooooooo happy!!

I started writing articles on palmistry for The Journal of Alternative Therapies, here in Montreal. I wrote some more for Everchanging Magazine in Burlington, Vermont. After a while, I decided to put all these articles together into a book. It did not sound right, so I did a lot of editing, and changing. I grew along with the book.

This is a healing book; a book of my experiences reading people and helping them along their pathway.
Will keep everyone posted.
Yippeeeeeee!

The Universe works in strange ways....

2010-03-07T08:09:00.003-05:00

A couple of days ago, I chose a card from Esther and Jerry Hicks "Well-Being Cards".

The card said: I am learning that all problems resolve themselves.

The expanded version on the reverse of the card elaborated:
When you have a problem, a desire exudes forth from you,
and Source hears it
and answers immediately.

Once you remove your attention
from the problem, you then allow
the solution.

Give birth to the question
and let it go - and allow
the answer to flow.

Timely advice. And a good reminder. Especially when worrying about Hubby's health (or lack of to be more specific).

However, on that day a couple of hours after I'd pulled this card, the doorbell rang.
It was 10:00 in the morning on a week day. Who could it be?

Over the course of the past few weeks, Hubby mentioned that someone had been ringing our doorbell, usually in the afternoon, just when he was about to take his nap. It happened 3 or 4 times. He no longer has the energy to answer the door, so if I'm not home, the call of the front door bell goes unanswered.

I opened the door to a middle-aged man, who looked familiar.
"Bonjour madame, ca fait long temps!" and he continued on in french.....

Turns out he was the technician who installed new windows in our garage last summer. I'd been calling the company last fall to come back and fix a caulking problem. The caulking had separated from the window edge, leaving a couple of gaps. I was worried that cold air and water would enter the garage. Not good.
I was angry that nobody had come back to fix this problem. Yes, it was a minor problem, but I had spoken to the sales person several times, only to be reassured that somebody would be by to fix it.

Then winter arrived. Forget it - will have to wait until Spring.
I know this is just an annoying problem, but I get really angry when I feel like I'm being ignored. After all, I'd paid good money to have those windows installed. In other words, I'd done my part. Paid up in full right away. Why then can't this company do it's part and fix their error? I felt neglected. Well, next time I will just choose another company if I need any more windows installed.

So, this morning, standing on my doorstep was the man who had installed those windows (way back in August), telling me he was in the area and would now fix the gaps in the caulking.

Ha! Well, I had certainly let this problem go - over the whole winter. And in doing so, allowed the problem to resolve in its own time. Getting angry and calling the company had not worked.

And maybe two problems were resolved that morning. Was this the same man who had been ringing our doorbell?

Interesting what happens when you shift your focus.

Reading hands

2010-02-22T20:43:00.002-05:00

"You will have a robbery," said the woman sitting across from me, holding my hand.
"Excuse me?" A robbery? What on earth?

"Do you have a dog?"
"Yes."
"Oh, that's o.k. then. Your house is protected. You don't have to worry."

Protected? That's a hoot.

Fifteen years ago now. I was living in a rented townhouse with my 3 children, all of whom were attending school. The eldest two also had part-time jobs. My youngest was still in high school. As you can imagine, there were comings and goings all day long. Our doors were never locked. One morning as I was preparing to leave the house for work, I reached out to unlock the front door, when I discovered it wasn't. Locked. Somebody had left it unlocked all night.

Being the philosophical person I am, I shrugged and went on my way. How would a potential thief know that my door, out of all the doors on the street, was not locked last night? And we did have a dog. And two cats. And do thieves walk up to the front door and turn the knob? Don't they try to sneak in the back door, or break a window?

Before my divorce, we lived in a detached house in a residential neighbourhood, not far from this townhouse. It was a nice neighbourhood, where neighbours looked out for one another. I had always felt safe. Our "open-door" policy was the same back then too.

Hubby (my first husband) would leave the house first in the mornings. Then my eldest son. Then me and lastly my younger two. They took the school bus. In those days they were bussed home for lunch. I am sure most days, our doors were left open. I was never a stickler for locking doors. We had a dog back then too. And nice neighbours. No need to worry. My mother would scold me at times, but I never listened. Nor did I have the energy to enforce "lock the door" rules.

Strange thing happened. We divorced and sold that house. A young couple moved in. Both worked. No dog. A couple of months after they'd moved in, the house was broken into. I felt bad. Our doors were always open. A thief could have walked in any time at all. But nobody did.

This nice young couple went to work every day, making sure their doors were locked. How unfortunate that somebody must have been watching. Somebody knew that house was empty all day. They must have broken in when the neighbours were away too.

Back to that woman holding my hand. I was having my palm read at a Psychic Fair. Some of what she told me back then came true. Some things did not.

I believe that you attract what you focus on.

Full New Year's Eve Moon

2009-12-31T20:19:00.003-05:00

Once again I set out to look for the moon this evening. I wanted to see Her soon after rising, as full as possible.

Once again, I was disappointed and turned back for home. As I was turning into my front walk, I took one last look over my shoulder.

Ah ha! There she was - shining brightly and full! As if to say "see I was here all the time. You just did not see me!"

Well, I can't see through clouds, even though you can.

What message is She bringing me? This is the second time over the past few months, that I've given up - only to turn around and find Her - shining brilliantly, full of light.

Whether clear or hazy, Mother Moon will not desert us. She is always there. We just need to see her, touch her, and believe. The words Soft come to mind, but also Communication. Soft communication? What the heck is that? I guess I'll find out in the New Year.

2010 equals the number 3 in numerology. The number of Creativity.

Let's all Create a year of happiness, love, abundance and peace.

So Mote It Be.

November Light

2009-11-08T20:24:00.002-05:00

Looking through my kitchen window this morning, I saw Father Sun trying to peek through the branches of these bare-looking trees. The morning light is soft as it filters through the trees.
It's quality is different now. There is no hurry. No rush. The Earth is preparing to rest.

I find this softness comforting.
An hour or so later, I went for a walk.
And found the moon languishing in the western sky.

How pretty she looks, soft and feminine. Not clear and bright, or luminous and powerful. Just there, as if dancing in the treetops.
The Wheel is Turning.
November is a gentle month.

Autumn's dark side...

2009-10-25T15:28:00.008-04:00

Autumn seems to be a time for grieving. Strong, warm Summer sunlight fades as a shadowy darkness takes over.

I spent most of the night crying. Tears soaked my pillowcase. Hubby lay beside me, breathing deeply. I placed my arm on his bony hip, cuddling him close to me, as I cried a river of tears.

I was remembering our first days together. Our first months. Our first years. As the old cliche goes "we were so much in love" (and still are to this day). It was pure bliss - heaven on Earth. I was bursting with happiness on a daily basis. I felt vastly rich. Truly loved and cherished. We played, we laughed, we travelled. Life was beautiful!

I wondered (as a kaleidoscope of the last 13 years danced through my head) will he die tonight? He had been sleeping on and off most of the day. As gentle love scenes played across my memory, flowers, moon-lit nights, birthdays, beaches, dazzling sunsets, caring and sharing - will tonight be the night?

I've asked that same question time and again over the seven and a half years he's been on oxygen. Will I find his body cold beside me in the morning; his spirit flown? Will I come home to find him on the floor? Gone - while I was out somewhere I didn't need to be?

The night before my mother died, the same swirling of thoughts and memories flashed through my mind - just like this night. I remember being a small child. Mom teaching me how to tie my shoe, wash my hands, say thank-you to someone. Mom tucking me into bed with a goodnight kiss. Mom standing at the door, waving good-by as I eagerly rushed out on my way to some adventure or other. Scenes from my teens, my graduation, my wedding, the birth of my children played in my head the night before she died. I did not know she was dying.

Very early the next morning, I got The Call. I knew in the depth of my soul that she had been sending me messages as her spirit chose to leave this Earth. They were not dreams, for I was wide awake. They were energy thought-forms. My sisters also received messages that night.

Was this to be the same happening? The very same scenario?

The next morning, Hubby awoke, looking better than he had in a long time. Relief washed over me like a wave. It's not his time yet. So why was I grieving? I don't know. Perhaps I had a slushy mound of grief stored up that needed release. All summer, I'd been riding a wave of joy, as I usually do. Sunshine and flowers; my hands in the Earth. I ignored sad. I pushed aside grief. I've been grieving for 7 and a half years - ever since his diagnosis. We need to treasure our time together. Not grieve the future.

I know, I know, but when I watch his daily struggles; constant unrelenting fatigue, frequent rest stops while slowly making his way across the room, eroded memory, emaciated body, oxygen tubing snaking across the floor; and the worst of the worst, even while resting in a chair, is.. just.. trying.. to.. breathe... it's hard not to look in the face of Grief.

Geese flying over the moon

2009-10-01T08:24:00.007-04:00

(pic compliments of the net)

Last night, after supper, I decided to go for a short walk. Our weather had been rainy and cloudy for the past couple of days, so I didn't really expect to see the moon. Waxing gibbous is where She is right now. Full splendor on October 4th - actually tomorrow!

Coming around the circle, and up a short hill (o.k. upward slope in the road), I looked up and saw a hazy, cloudy sky. There was a little patch in between the clouds that looked as if it were lit from behind by Our Mother Moon.

How pretty, I thought to myself. I guess that's as good as I'm going to get this evening. Just a haze and a bit of gentle light illuminating the soggy clouds from behind.

Continuing to stretch my legs and breathe in the fresh air, I walked on. Acorns crunched underfoot. All was dark. Streetlights are far and few between, here in the country, but lights shone from some houses as I passed by. Some people leave only one lamp burning in the window, as if to welcome passers by. Others have lights shining in every room.

Squabbling voices pierced the night air, interrupting the soft silence. Hmmm, somebody must be having a party, I thought. Strange that the noise level would reach the street. Our properties are large and unless doors and windows are open, you can't really hear anything that goes on inside the houses.

Squabbling turned into squawking and instantly I understood. Geese! Of course! Canada geese flying South for the winter! Quickly I scanned the dark skies trying hard to figure out where they were. How could I possibly see any movement in a dark night sky? Well I tried anyway and saw nothing.

The Moon however, chose this time to show off. Clouds yielded; hung back for a bit allowing Mother Moon to shine. Not brightly or clearly, but with an ethereal glow.

Waiting and watching, I stood rooted to the spot.

"Come on, geese - where are you?" I called into the darkness.

Honk! honk! honk....growing fainter now.

Oh well, time to go. Turning away, I started back home. On an impulse, I took one last look over my shoulder. And then I saw them! Two or three at first, flying one behind the other, silhouetted against the light of the almost-full Moon.

And then there were zillions! Wings flapping, long necks reaching as if to plant a goosey kiss on Mother Moon before flying away on their journey. I was in awe! Never have I seen geese flying over the moon before. Thought it was the stuff of story-books.

As the honking grew softer and more distant, I silently wished them farewell.

Have a good trip and enjoy the warm sunny Winter. See you in the Spring.

Had I not given in to that little tug at my shoulder nudging me to turn back at just the right time, I would have missed this magical moment.

I wonder what message the Universe is sending me?

Queen Mabon

2009-09-24T18:04:00.014-04:00

The Wheel Turns. Light is fading and Queen Mabon or Maeve as she was once called, adjusts the folds in her dress, as she floats down, settling herself upon the land.

Looking around with her appraising eye, she notices with satisfaction the leaves that were once a nourishing green, are slowly changing to deep russet, vivid orange, and perfect red.

"Perfect red?"

A saucy chipmunk pops up from its burrow:

"Who said that? Perfect red? How can a colour be perfect?"

"Well then, how about blood? ruby? sanguinous?" answered Queen Mabon.
"Those adjectives are so worn out."

"All right, picture this - glowing red, friendly red, autumn red?
"That's a stretch!", retorted the naughty chipmunk.

"O.K. smarty pants, instead of sassing me, tell me this - have you started gathering acorns for winter?"

"Of course! Do you think I need you to tell me what I've been doing instinctively for years??"

And with that, he popped back down into his burrow.

With a sigh of gentle patience, Queen Maeve turned her attention back to her immediate duties. Licking her finger in the time honoured, old fashioned way, She next tested the Air.
"Hmmm, cool and a little crispy, as it should be, but warmed with just the right amount of Sun - Perfect!"

Looking around, She noted with satisfaction that Lily of the Valley had transformed right on schedule. From Maidenly, delicate, white bells in the early Spring, to robust red berries of Autumn.

(don't look too closely at this pic or you'll see that the red berries are actually cherries and not Lily of the Valley berries, but I liked this pic immediately when I saw it).

Rose also was showing her hips - red and luscious and inviting...

" Hmmm, well, I'll have to keep my eye on that one!" Maeve muttered to herself.
Queen Mabon looked around and smiled. Everything was as it should be. Animals scurried about, preparing for the cold winter months ahead. In the gardens, chives, lavender, basil, marigolds, pansies (among others) were busily sowing their seeds for next spring's crop of herbs and flowers.

She turned her face upwards, to scan the sky; looking for that last sign that the Wheel of the Year was indeed turning - that it hadn't gotten stuck in the mud, or broken a spoke along the way.

And then she heard them. Softly at first, but unmistakable.... the honking
of Canada geese, flying South to warmer lands; their distinctive V-formation marking their journey through the Sky.

And when Swirling Mists began their Work of dampening and softening the landscape, Mabon knew her work was complete. Autumn had arrived on time - to meet the Fall Equinox.

She sighed and let down her hair - all was in order...for now..... and yet her Work had only just begun, for Samhain was already tugging impatiently at her skirts...

Edges.....

2009-09-23T20:23:00.005-04:00

Borders.....

Fringes......

Lines...lips.....

Contours....margins,

Periphery....

A faerie ring

A distant shore

Thresholds...

Portal!

Balancing on the edge,

Equal day and night
Tween times....

It's Mabon. First day of Autumn.

Day and night are balanced.

Edges of light and dark more delineated.

Where there are borders, there are faerie folk.

We are between Worlds just for a wee bit of time.

And as the Wheel Turns, darkness grows stronger; as light recedes.

So for now we Dance on the edges.

Full September Moon

2009-09-07T08:35:00.004-04:00

It's good to remember
The Full Moon in September

How did we get here?
Where are we going?
Who will we meet on our pathway?

I feel secluded
I wish to flee
And stay
I am safe, yet restless.

I am free, yet bound.
I feel trapped in a forest
And yet can step out whenever I please
But I always come back...
There is something yet to learn....
The Time is not right yet.

Love surrounds me like a cape.
Yet chokes.
But wait - True Love does not choke. True Love lets go.
Love and Let go. Love and Let go - the hardest lesson on the planet (at least I think so).
Who is holding on to Who?

Somebody said this is the last Full Moon of summer. I hadn't thought of that.
But summer is coming to a close.
Soon it will be Fall, as the Wheel Turns once again.

Nights are chillier; early morning cool as I step onto my deck, looking for Father Sun to say good morning. I shiver, put on a sweater, sip my morning coffee. Early morning is my favourite time of the day and I like it to be warm. But at least, I can still go out. It's not too cold yet to walk among my flowers, listen to birds calling back and forth, watch chipmunks scurrying to and fro in search of food.

In another month it will be too cold. But for now I will enjoy the chilly early morning air, the clear sun peeking at me through the leaves of my oak trees, as I quickly stretch and honour the Four Directions.

Gentle is how I see this September Moon. I am feeling gentleness.
And learning to be gentle with myself.

Full Moon Clarity

2009-08-06T15:48:00.004-04:00

August full moon. Corn moon. Moon of the Harvest.
Last night before going to bed, I looked out to see if I could see Mother Moon. She shone through the clouds Strong and Clear.

I don't remember seeing her so Clear before.

Luminous - yes.
Bright and shiny -yes.

Hazy - yes. Partially obscured - yes.

But Clear and Warm? Strange combination.

I tend to think of Clear and Bright as cold. Like the clear, bright Stars you see when you look up into the darkness on a cold, crisp winter's night.

Strange....I went to bed and did not give Her another thought. After all, Her fullness was not due until tonight, Thursday.

Ah.... but the ways of Mother Nature are mysterious.

Out for my morning walk, earlier on, I was mulling though something that happened the day before. The Clear Moon day. I had taken some pics of my grandchildren. There were about 10 of my granddaughter playing in the park and only 1 of my grandson. He had been with his mother (my daughter) while we were at the park, so little Nathan was left out of the pics.

Standing at the front door saying goodby, little Nathan (safe within his mother's arms) gurgled and laughed as only 6 month old babies do. Instantly I whipped out my camera. I had to take this pic.

At home, I uploaded (or down, I can never figure out which) the pics. The one of little Nathan was good, except that there were too many distractions in the pic, taking away from his dear little face. At first I was disappointed.

Hmmm, maybe it's time I learned how to "edit" my pics. The edit feature that comes with Windows is extremely frustrating (at least to me). I don't want to "draw" on my pic. I don't want to "erase" the background. I've tried that and it looks horrible. I just want to crop the baby's face and bring in into focus. The rest of the background can be "out of focus" or soft and blurry.

After a bit of searching, I did find an edit programme. I think it might have been photobucket. And even with that programme, the cropping took me a long time. Either I don't have the proper technique (it kept slipping away from me), or it's just difficult to do (which it should not be).

So, as I was walking, mulling this through, it struck me that my failures are really stepping stones. I've always cringed at the thought of failing. I think most of us were brought up that way. Failing was something embarrassing. Something to cry over. Failed exams, failed casseroles, failed businesses, failed relationships.

But now with the gift of Clarity from Mother Moon last night, I see failures in a different light; as a place to begin. A launch pad. The first step on a path. Instead of meeting Failure with Frustration, I will now look at Failure and ask "o.k., what's the next step?"

I have never been as interested in photography as I have in writing. That old "fear" of not being as good as the professionals. That old, nagging voice saying "you're not artistic, you can't do that", has kept me back. Or the other limiting thought pattern "you have to choose: writing or taking pics, you can't do both."

But now I'm finding out just how much fun creating and editing photos can be. It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to measure up to somebody else's standards. I can do it for the sheer joy it brings me.

So thank you August Mother Moon for helping another piece of my Creative Self to sneak out. And for the Clarity to see "failure" for what it is - not an ending, not something to be feared, but a Light, a glow, pointing the way to success or at the very least, change.

Beneath the surface....

2009-07-24T19:28:00.000-04:00

my garden is alive! Alive with little beings.....
who live in their own secret world, far away from prying eyes.
Of Humans, who would want to capture them.
And put them in cages.
And study them.

Under the leaves, in the shadows, the faerie spirits dwell.
They are the ones who make magic.
They are the ones who weave the spells,
to make Our gardens grow.

They are the ones who bring magical and medicinal properties to herbs,
for healing, for changing, for growing.

Welcome them into your garden.
You won't be sorry.

Full Moon Ritual did not...

2009-07-08T19:56:00.002-04:00

....go as planned.

I did not unearth my crystals. I did not light a candle. But I did see Mother Moon! And I did drink a glass of red wine.

It rained off and on all day. A thunderstorm at suppertime. Never did I think the sky would clear up. But it did.

I opened the door, looked half-heartedly at the sky and saw........Stars! Stars? Hey, it's cleared up! So flip-flops flopping, I hurried down the wet driveway, hoping not to run into Mr. Groundhog, or Mrs. Raccoon. Did not even think of Ms. Skunk. I would not look forward to stepping on Ms. Skunk in the dark.

Slap, slap, slap, echoed my flip-flops in the dark night. Crickets chirped, and insects droned (funny how much louder they sound in the dark). Passed by the ghostly shapes of heavy machinery at the end of my street, left over from the day's construction workers.
An innocuous line of mail-boxes hovering in the shadows, looked like a crouching creature waiting to spring.

A bat flew overhead. Oh good! First bat of the season. I like bats; they eat insects. It's been too cold here this summer for night walks - so I haven't seen any bats. Or fireflies for that matter.

Strange how cold the night air was last night. No matter. Excitedly I scanned the tree tops for a sign of Mother Moon. What laughed back at me were clouds. Clouds? Where did they come from? Why is the sky so clear overhead and yet cloudy on the horizon, just where the moon is supposed to come up??

Tough toenails! (bet you haven't heard that expression in a long time). I'm just gonna stand here until Mother Moon shows herself.
I waited.
Nothing.
I waited some more.
Still nothing but pesky clouds, clouding my vision.
Where or where was that darn moon, anyway?

Hmmmm, maybe it's my fault. Maybe I have the time wrong.
Turning back, I started for home.
All of a sudden I heard a car's tires crunching in the gravel behind me. Since it was pitch black, I jumped to the side of the road to avoid being hit. In doing so, I glanced back up at the sky to see.......the shining face of Mother Moon - regally ascending her throne in the sky! The clouds had parted to make way for her shining face.

Drawing down her silvery light; her powerful energy, I asked of her to grant us world peace. This is my wish - all the time. World peace - if we could ever attain that!

Yes, I stood there in the middle of the silent, dark road; hands in the Air, hoping nobody was looking out their windows, and at the same time, not really caring.

July Full Moon

2009-07-06T20:03:00.003-04:00

Also known as Mead Moon, Hay Moon, Buck Moon, Lightening and Thunder Moon.

The energies surrounding this full moon are ones of success, happiness, and fulfilment. We are blessed with the first harvest of the season - a reward for all our hard work.
The Moon at this time brings us feelings of being connected. Connection to Spirit encourages us to first recognize blessings in our own lives, and then pay them forward - thus continuing the cycle of positive energy.

Rain is expected once again tomorrow, so I will not be able to get a good clear picture of Mother Moon. Last night I saw her briefly through the clouds. Stepped out my back door, walked down the driveway to the street in an attempt to catch Her. I wanted to see her in all her almost- full glory! But she remained elusive. Hidden.

Thinking She was hiding in the trees, I trespassed on somebody's property to see if I could find Her. Doesn't sound like much of an offence, except that I'd called Security Patrol on these neighbours one afternoon last month because they were lighting an open fire in their backyard. I was worried the wind would carry the flames and spread the fire.
As you can imagine, I did not want to be seen traipsing through the wet grass of their lawns!

All that to say, Mother Moon has been elusive this cycle. I have not felt Her power, Her magic as I normally do during these summer months.

However, a Full Moon Ritual is planned with my group of Earth Healers. For my part, I doubt that She will be visible to me, so I will see what it feels like to simply sense Her presence. I will absorb her hidden energy tomorrow night, and Listen.....

Beforehand, I will unearth my crystals and choose a few (those that feel appropriate) to use in a ritual. Lighting a candle or two always feels right. At the end, I will raise a glass of red wine to toast Her, and Listen....

Summer Solstice...

2009-06-19T19:58:00.005-04:00

......is almost here. Robyn at Tales of Inglewood is inviting anyone who is interested to do some healing of our Mother Earth. Robyn would like to start a world wide circle of Earth Healers.

Solstice is an auspicious time to do some healing of our planet. If you can spare some time this weekend, sit with Mother Earth and send some healing.

You can do whatever you feel called to do. Light a candle. Create a ritual. Sit in silence. Sing and dance. Use your intuition.

You can read more about this here: Healing Mother Earth

This kind of ritual appeals to me. I do what I feel like in the moment. If there is a more formalized ritual set at a certain time, like "everyone light a candle at 9:00 Pacific Time" or whatever, I usually forget.

I will not forget the upcoming Solstice this weekend. Summer for me is such a magical time and the Solstice marks the longest day of the year here in the Northern Hemisphere.

Robyn lives in Australia, so for her, the days will start to grow longer. They are celebrating Winter Solstice, but we all share a common goal. Join us, won't you?

Summer Magic

2009-06-05T20:32:00.002-04:00

The Wheel turns. The magic of summer is almost upon us. Warm sun, soft breezes, faeries playing in the garden.
Animals and birds are nesting. Bringing forth new life.
So are flowers, trees, shrubs, grass.
There's magic in creation.

We put away our cold and shivering winter selves. Our shrinking, contracting into ourselves; pulling clothes tighter, shutting windows and doors tight.

And bring to light our shimmering, warm, happy selves. We jump and dance, fling open doors and windows, picnic in the meadows, call to friends and drink iced tea in the backyard. Spend long lazy days in the garden.

And when night falls, the call of an owl reminds us to listen to our dreams.
The swish of a bat's wings, that time passes quickly.
Jasmine and moonflower perfume the soft darkness, as fireflies light the way.
Crickets singing in the dark, remind us that night too will fade and Sun will rise once again to begin another cycle of joy.
There is peace in my Soul.

Faeries in bloom...

2009-05-23T21:33:00.002-04:00

Mid-spring and the weather is warm. Time for the Lilac Faeries to bloom. I don't know how they know, but just as the birds know when to migrate, the Lilac Faeries know it's time to bloom.
They emerge from the lilac blossoms as tiny as tiny can be.
And gently sip lilac nectar from lavender coloured blooms.

But only for a few days. Just when the time is right. Or birds (especially hummingbirds) will sip all the magic nectar and the Lilac Faerie will not grow. She will not bloom, but fade away, until next year.

The bees understand. They are her best friends, for if she becomes sleepy and forgets to drink, their gentle humming will awaken her.

Teeny, tiny green inchworms, slide over to watch. They encourage the lilac blooms to open wide, so Lilac Faerie can reach up to drink.

She grows and she grows.
And when her wings emerge and become glossy, she flies away.

Tai Chi

2009-05-10T19:52:00.003-04:00

Sacred movement, sacred breath.
Whisper in the Wind.
Centered in your being. Balanced in body, mind and soul.
Peace and Harmony. Breathe in Chi. Breathe out clouds. Let the Sacred Breath carry Chi - your life force - throughout your body.
Sway with the wind. Glide with the birds. Slowly reach for the Stars. Let the soles of your feet feel centered and safe, rooted to Mother Earth.

Wind Rolling the Lotus Leaves, gently ruffling my hair as I yield to its softness. I am standing under a Plum Tree practicing Tai Chi when a Tiger jumps out to Embrace me. Centered in my being I gently smile and watch as he Returns to his Mountain.

As the Wind Sweeps the Plum Blossoms all over my head, I can't help but breathe in their sweet fragrance. Sacred breath, calm relaxing, peaceful. I breathe in sacred Chi. Chi, life force to nourish my being. In the distance I glimpse a magnificent White Crane Spreading its Wings in preparation for flight. A feeling of joy spreads throughout my body, watching this display of total freedom and joie-de-vivre.

A curious monkey pokes its head through the tree branches to stare at me upside down. Rooted in the soft Earth, balanced in body, mind and spirit, I gently and slowly Repulse this cheeky little Monkey.

The sun is setting signalling the end of a perfect day. Birds fly into the Forest on their way home. Hearing a throaty roar, I swiftly turn around in fright, only to find a friendly Lion Shaking Its Head. He too is preparing to go back to his lair for the night.

Before I start my trek back home, I give thanks to the Tree that offered me shade, the Earth for supporting me, the Air so I may breathe, the Sun for its warmth and love and the River lazily snaking its way through the Magic Forest.

That night asleep under the Stars, I dream of Wild Horses Leaping the Ravine in fear, as Snakes Creep Down to Stick out their Tongues. A large White Tiger Hugged his Head with Laughter - nervous horses afraid of snakes! How silly - don't they know you can't outrun Eternal Change?

I wrote this about 10 years ago when I first began studying Tai Chi. I was drawn to the energetic component of the Tai Chi form. Not a dance, nor an exercise, Tai Chi is like a meditation in motion.

Creating a story from the moves, helped me to incorporate the philosophy of this ancient practice into my energy field.

Snake Creeps Down, Repulse Monkey, Lion Shakes Its Head, Wild Horse Leaps the Ravine, are just some of many, many Tai Chi moves. I have capitalized the names within my story for those unfamiliar with Tai Chi.

Perspectives

2009-05-08T21:14:00.002-04:00

Sitting on the sand at the beach in Florida, I looked up from under this palm tree.

What a different perspective this is.
Usually, you see the palm tree in its entirety. Strong and full, its fronds waving majestically in the ocean air. A symbol if the tropics. Vacation time. A lazy time of life. Warmth. Courage. Sustenance (for those who are shipwrecked and can climb up to pick coconuts).

Through the leaves of this magnificent and versatile tree, a hot tropical sun shines through. Warming. Caressing.

I've come back from my vacation with a different perspective on Life. I needed the break. I needed to re-set my inner vision. From sad, stressed and depressed to happy, joyful, full-of-good-energy.

Looking up to the sun. Up through the leaves (green leaves are a symbol of life and hope). A much better place to be.
My soul is soothed.

Point of Convergence

2009-04-25T21:33:00.004-04:00

My outer self and inner self have converged. My other blog COPD Caregiving is NOT for Wimps! was my outer self. My Caregiving self. My love of nature; flowers especially. Grandkids and anything else I felt like blogging about.

This blog is my inner self. My inner feelings, spirituality, faeries and anything magical. In this blog I am wide open. No filters. No ads.

Just me... expressing myself.

For some weird reason, when I first started blogging, I thought everybody was judging me. Should I blog about this? Is it too different? not politically correct? too magical or pagan? I did not feel I could let loose and be myself. I was afraid to disappoint my readers. (how's that for ego?)

My third to last post on Caregiving is not for wimps (April 20) is called "A Fine Line". My last post on this blog is called "Out on a Limb". Essentially I am saying the same thing. Expressing myself from the point of view of where I am in this Journey.

I did not think these two would converge. But they have. So where do I go from here? Is this progress? My inner and outer selves coverging? Or will I recede into quite isolation and sort out my inner feelings before going on.

I am taking a much needed vacation to Florida. I leave Tuesday, April 28th. I am so excited! I'll be at the ocean, feeling the sun on my face and the sand between my toes. I won't be blogging or emailing until I get back. Back on May 4th.

We will see what happens when I get back. In the meantime, thank you to everyone who has been with me on this journey. Your thoughtful words and kindness have been extremely valuable in my evolution. I am grateful to all who have travelled this fun, sometimes sad, but totally unpredictable road with me.
Namaste.

Out on a limb

2009-04-16T20:46:00.000-04:00

It has taken me quite a while. Soul searching and suffering. Light and darkness. An internal tug-of-war.

And now I have come to one of those places.

Places where a lightbulb goes off.

An Ah-ha moment.

I had crawled out on a limb and very nearly fell off into nothingness.

But something pulled me back - just in the nick of time.

And then I realized that I have been giving away little pieces of my own life.

For the past 2 years, my life has been one of waiting and watching.

Two years ago, I was told Hubby did not have much time on this Earth.

So, I dropped everything to wait and watch.

I stopped working. I stopped playing.

Currents eddied around me.

Someone threw me a lifeline, but I let it sink.

Little by little my tree limb slipped. Lower and lower. It nearly snapped.

And still I waited and watched.

Nothing.

I almost fell.

And then the lightbulb went off. Some trigger in my brain. Or maybe a Guardian Angel took my hand.

And now I am learning to Dance in the Rain.

Instead of waiting for the Storm to pass.

I will take back my life. Not give it up to somebody else.

Even though I love my Hubby dearly. Even though my giving up my life will not make any difference in the final outcome. He will still pass through the Veil. I cannot follow. I don't want to follow. I have more life to live.

And now I know how.

The Energy of a Birth...

2009-04-04T15:19:00.006-04:00

so very long ago. Has touched my life in countless ways. The little seed planted by loving parents, took, (those 66 years ago) and blossomed into an incredible human being.

A loving, patient, gentle healer is what he became. A life fully lived. A life fully loved.

But he is at the end of his journey. And this blog is not about my hubby. It's about my inner world.

Ah, but how he influenced my inner world. His supportive and loving energy allowed me to grow; to feel proud of myself; to become a cherished grandmother.

Go gently my love. I know I have held on to you too tightly. I can feel your fatigue. Your tug-of-war inside your spirit. I need to learn to release you. It is so very difficult; it is next to impossible.... but I must.

Your energy has filled me with a caring I did not know existed. Never before has anyone lifted me up to those incredible heights.

Love never dies.
Your energy will live on.
And this is the anniversary of your Birth. So we will celebrate your Birth Energy today; not your waning body energy. Your sacred breath, not your difficult, shallow breathing of ebbing lungs.

This time on Earth will pass and once again, you will Breathe freely and easily.

Spring Storms

2009-03-30T20:36:00.001-04:00

A storm is coming......

Spring is here, the energy has changed. Storm clouds hover in the air, reminding us to take shelter.
Lightening, quick as a wink, crackles as it magically splinters the sky.

Deep dark rumbles can be heard overhead, as the Heavens complain about something.......

And after the storm, a refreshing rain gently cleanses Mother Earth.....

preparing the way for faeries to emerge.....and magic to begin anew.

Full March Moon

2009-03-11T20:34:00.003-04:00

March Moon is called Windy Moon, Fish Moon, or Seed Moon.

A time for growth and new planting.
March winds howl and blow seeds around.
There are buds on trees, flowers poking up from the earth.
A time of renewal and rebirth.

In some cutures, the tides of the full moon in March are the best time for catching fish.

A Recipe for Spring

2009-03-08T16:00:00.001-04:00

A pocket full of sunshine
A barrel full of rain
We'll spin it round and round
And mix it up again.

A sprinkling of bees knees
A dandelion's fluff
Around around around again
Isn't it enough?

A shell full of tadpoles
A spoon full of flies
We'll mix it up some more until
The smoke gets in your eyes

Is the fire hot enough
To make our magic spell?
Go look inside the magic pot
But mind the dreadful smell

Birds feathers, worms eyes,
A clothespin on the line
Our cauldron is still bubbling
Our brew is mighty fine

With caterpiller's bright orange coat
And bumble bees sweet nectar
I think by now we're almost done
Please don't forget to check her

Who?
Why Goddess Cloud. She must be gray.
And really full of water.
To make spring showers tumble down
Before the sun gets hotter.

Are we done?
Asks Father Sun
It's time to send the spell
Away up high into the sky
Where springtime spirits dwell.

Just one more thing
To make this sing
Some faerie dust we'll bring
Well, hurry up
We're out of time
It's really almost Spring!

I don't have a clue where these words came from. I was out walking today in the bright sunshine. There were puddles everywhere and birds singing happily. The first verse popped into my mind and the rest just followed as I sat here at the computer.

I have to admit I started to write this post last night, but got absolutely nowhere. Everything sounded awful. And you'd think by now I'd recognize this and just let go. Eventually, I did turn off the computer, read for a bit and went to bed.

It wasn't until this afternoon on my walk that the words just came to me.
Hope with this magic spell, we'll all have an early Spring.

Swimming

2009-02-19T20:55:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I am swimming in deep water.
I swim long and hard.
I get tired.
Sometimes I just want to rest.
But I can't.
I can't let go of Hubby.
He'll drown.

So I continue to swim.
Sometimes I see an island and swim there.
We sit and rest for a while.
But the island always dissolves, just when I least expect it.
Just when I hope that "this time" the island will remain, strong and sturdy so we can stay.

There are times when I float on my back and swim leisurely, enjoying the warm salty water.
Other times the wind picks up and the waves crash over my head, scaring me.

There are times I see hungry sharks close by. But they always swim away.
And whirlpools which threaten to bring us down.

The sun comes up and I swim.
At night it's dark and I shiver.
But I can't let go.
Not
Ever.

Stepping out......

2009-02-06T15:29:00.005-05:00

I was shaped by school life.
Everybody had to look the same.
Everybody had to behave the same.
Colours were neutral.
No self expression allowed.
Just memorized answers.
Only "right" answers tolerated.

Our home was decorated in neutral colours. My father went to work every day. My mother stayed at home with us. We children went to school every day. And wore uniforms.

I was happy. But lived in a box. High school was far worse than primary school. At least there was room for colour and fantasy at primary school. At high school one was supposed to be serious.

Everybody looked the same.
Everybody behaved the same.
We wore white blouses and grey skirts and navy blue shoes.
I hated high school. But I behaved and graduated.

One thing that was impressed upon us children was being a shadow. Living as if we weren't really there. Staying neat and clean. Doing our work without complaint.

"Who does he think he is? Does he own the place?" an angry comment from my father for anybody making waves or calling attention to themselves.

So I learned to shrink. And fit into somebody else's mold. Somebody else's pattern of who I should be.

As I look around, I realize I am still trying to fit into the mold I think my husband wants me to live in. I have made some changes in our home. But there is still a lot that is not me.

I blame my husband. But it's not his fault. He actually encouraged the changes in our home that I made. Those changes that reflect who I truly am. The white wicker rocking chair in our bedroom. The dolphin wind-chime hanging in our T.V. room. The pictures around our home. My flowers. My woodworking attempt at making a grandfather clock (still in progress 6 years later).

True - he didn't want new appliances (what's wrong with the old ones?).
True - he didn't want to repaint the T.V. room.
True - we have older windows and badly need to replace or remove the wall-to-wall carpets in our home.

And our home has become somewhat of a hospital. The dining room is the examination room. The nurse came in this morning to draw Hubby's blood - in our dining room. The inhalation therapist who comes to listen to his chest and take his blood pressure carries out her duties in our dining room.
We have a bed in our T.V. room where Hubby takes his naps.
So what? We are lucky to have a home.

But it goes beyond the home. It goes right into my being. This fear of being myself. Of expressing myself. I drag my feet where others write e-zines, publish books, start a business, a webpage, sell on ebay or etsy. Why am I so afraid?

What if...........I stepped out of this "box" and changed myself.
What if...........I wasn't afraid to express myself on paper.
What if..........I took a chance.

Celebrating Imbolc....

2009-02-01T21:26:00.009-05:00

...the Celtic festival honouring the Goddess Brighid.

Brighid is a Goddess of poetry, fire, smith-crafts, and healers. Imbolc is from the Gaelic "immolg", meaning "in milk", and refers to the time of year when the ewes and cattle are giving birth. They are "in milk" feeding their young.

This festival celebrates the return of spring and the start of the farming season. The first signs of new green plant growth appear as warmer and longer days wake the earth from her winter sleep.

Few flowers bloom at this time of year. The best known is the snow-drop. She often peeks through the snow in her journey towards the sun, bringing gladness and joy at renewed growth.

Falling Snow

2009-01-29T19:43:00.006-05:00

Falling from one world to the next.
Spinning.
Swirling my senses.
Changing the energy. Changing the Earth.

Changing the patterns of our space, our reality, our environment.

Does falling snow add moisture to the air?
Or thick density?
Do you perceive snow as light and fluffy and fun?
Or do you have trouble breathing in the soggy, harsh air?

Do you turn your face to the heavens, enjoying the soft flakes as they dance on the tip of your nose?

Creatures of the Earth tunnel through the soft heaviness; making trails in the pure whiteness.
Playing and frolicking and having fun.
Others shiver; hidden deep in their dens, their burrows. Only venturing out when necessary - for food.

Some poor animals lose their way, floundering in its vast whiteness; on and on through the bitter cold.
Until they stop.
Utterly drained of all energy
Lying still........having surrendered their
lifeforce to the cold.

Who are you?

2009-01-25T19:45:00.000-05:00

"Who are you?" asks the Goddess.

"I am your heart," replies the dove.

"My heart? "

"Your heart."

"Well then little white dove, why are you here?"

"To take you home."

"Home?"

"It is time," White Dove coos softly.

"But I won't leave Akasha - I've been sitting here for hundreds of years, watching over him. I can't leave him now. What if somebody chops him down?"

"It is not your call; not your decision. Your time here is done.

"Come," whispers White Dove, fluttering its wings, "It is time."

A Gift

2009-01-23T21:12:00.003-05:00

Babies are Beings from the Nonphysical,
eternally coming forth
for the creation of that which they decide.

The Babies are wanting, so much,
for you to know that
All is Well.

Fire

2009-01-17T20:54:00.003-05:00

The Old Man was getting tired. Sooo tired. Dare he rest for a bit?
'I'll just sit down here', he thought to himself,' but not for too long'.
He knew he still had things to do. His energy was flagging, as was his spirit. He wanted to sleep. Lethargy overcame him and he almost, almost gave in to it. 'Just a little longer', he thought to himself.

A warmth spread over his face. Was this the sun?
"Father Sun!" he cried out. "Why are you here at this time? It is dusk!"

The Old Man felt his face growing hotter, then his body. It was uncomfortable, but he could do nothing to take it away. The more he struggled the hotter he became.

"I am Spirit; why are you fighting me?" came a voice.

The Old Man turned his face to the heavens. And saw the Light.

Lady of Water

2009-01-13T21:11:00.007-05:00

"Fair Lady of the Water," whispers the Old Man.

"Where do you go?"
"Where do you flow?"

"I am not here. I am just an illusion."

Someone is playing tricks on me. I will call my faithful dolphins and get to the bottom of this.

The Old Man climbs aboard his Dolphins and they take him to his cousin, Merlin.

"Merlin, my good fellow. Have you seen or heard from the Lady of the Water?"

"Strange you should ask. I was trying to contact Her myself, but her image keeps fading away."

"You should know better than to try and capture me."

Suddenly the Old Man threw back his head and laughed.

He knew the answer.

Spirit of the Hills

2009-01-10T20:06:00.000-05:00

The Old Man next looked to the Rolling Hills.
Ahhhh...... to communicate with the Spirit of the Hills, I will need my crystal.

Spirit of the Hills (as we all know) is older than the Old Man.
Older than the lakes and rivers.
Older than the trees and flowers.
As old as Time.

Dwelling deep within the Hills, he is Keeper of the Earth.
Rarely does he see the light of day.

As the Old Man gazes into the Crystal, the form of a Unicorn appears.
"Magical Unicorn," calls the Old Man. "Are you the Spirit of the Hills?"
The Unicorn stamps its foot, and points its magical horn downward.
Something is written in the Earth.

The Old Man scrunches up his eyes and scratches his head.
I can't see anything, he thinks to himself.
Then slowly, gradually, the writing in the Earth becomes clear.
Chuckling to himself, he picks up his pen and writes in his Book of Wisdom.

The Old Man

2009-01-07T21:02:00.002-05:00

The Old Man sighed as he looked towards the heavens.
So many stars, so many souls.
What words of wisdom do I have to impart?
But the stars didn't answer. They just winked back at the Old Man.
They had secrets, but weren't telling.
The Old Man was patient.
He sat on the rocks and waited..
And waited..
And waited...

A gentle breeze sprang up and tickled his nose. It blew on the feather quill he was using for a pen.
The Old Man listened.
And knew what to write in his Special Book.
His Book of Wisdom.

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T15:21:00.003-05:00

This Silver Bell faerie has arrived to wish us all Happy New Year!
He is only here for one night, then fades away until next year. You must listen closely to what his little bells tell you, for they are magic! They will tinkle and whisper a secret to all who need a little guidance. And who doesn't need a little something to help them on their way?

Eat drink and be merry tonight. Enjoy your parties, your friends and family - but on the stroke of mid-night or just a split second before (if you can), listen closely...... and you will hear something very special.... just for you!

2008-12-28T18:06:00.002-05:00

I drew the Eagle card (from the Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson) twice - once on the Winter Solstice and once on Christmas Eve.

Eagle is the first card of this deck. Eagle represents Spirit.

"Eagle....Fly high. Touch Great Spirit.

Share your medicine, touch me, honour me.

So that I may know you too."

Eagle medicine is the ability to live in the realm of Spirit, and yet remain connected and balanced within the realm of Earth.

"If you have pulled this symbol, Eagle is reminding you to take heart and gather your courage, for the Universe is presenting you with an opportunity to soar above the mundane levels of your life."

"If Eagle has majestically soared into your cards, you are being put on notice to reconnect with the element of Air. Air is of the mental plane, and in this instance, it is of the higher mind. Wisdom comes in many strange and curious forms and is always related to the Creative Force of the Great Spirit."

"Eagle medicine is the gift we give ourselves to remind us of the freedom of the skies. Eagle asks you to give yourself permission to legalize freedom and to follow the joy your heart desires."

Whew! Powerful message. Now I need to take the advice.

There was a year (about 5 years ago, when all I did was dream about horses or pull "horse" medicine cards. Decided to take horseback riding lessons. I'm not sure what the lesson was - I stopped riding when I went to nursing school. Would love to ride a horse and just let the wind sail through my hair and be one with the animal. One day, I will find a good teacher and get back on a horse.

For now, I will concentrate on Eagle medicine.

Love and Light to all of you sharing my journey.

Winter Solstice

2008-12-21T15:00:00.001-05:00

Winter Solstice - the darkest, longest night of the year. From now on the Sun will start on its path closer to the Earth. The days will become gradually longer.

In ancient times, there was a celebration to welcome back the Sun and is recognized as the time when the Sun King, or the Oak King, is reborn.

For the Sun King (or the Oak King) lost His battle at Mid-Summer and went into the Underworld, capitulating to the Holly King who rules over the waning part of the year. They battled their eternal battle and, as every year from the beginning of time, the Sun King laid down his sword in defeat.

But on this day, the Winter Solstice, the Goddess prepares for His birth. The Sun King will return from the Underworld and so the Holly King waits for the new battle.

The Winter Solstice marks a time when the ancients gathered to feast and spread enough joy so that the Sun would truly want to return.

Here is a site for interesting information on the Winter Solstice and the celebration of Yule.

Angel Chimes

2008-12-07T21:45:00.002-05:00

Every Christmas my mother would take our decorations out of the attic.

I loved the Angel Chimes best.

I am Worthfull

2008-12-04T21:33:00.004-05:00

I amWorthfull
I am Worthfull
I am Worthfull

This is my new affirmation.

Somewhere along the way I have come to believe I am not worth much.
I don't see my role right now as valuable.
I think I need to go out to work and make money.
Or make something of myself.

I am a "pleaser" and in doing so, I don't pay attention to my own needs.
I focus on the other person. On my partner.
And then blame them when I am unhappy.

I now recognize this pattern. It's been with me since I was a little girl.
My older brothers would fight and my parents would get mad.
I never wanted to feel that anger directed at me (no we're not talking abuse). So I did everything in my power to be good.

Even at school - I was the good one. Always. And it broke my spirit.
I tried to be like everyone else. I wanted to be like everyone else.
Who was I anyway? To let my true self out was to risk being disliked. To risk making a mistake by saying or doing the "wrong" thing.
And I can see that I still do that.

But now I have a plan.
This blog was the first step.
To be myself. To let my inner self out.
To untie the threads, the spider's web, the ropes that bind me.....one at a time.
Baby steps.

Another sighting

2008-11-24T19:39:00.003-05:00

I saw Little Red Fox again on Friday, Nov. 21. I was on my way to the mailbox when my neighbour called me over. Actually it was her dog that wanted to play and when he wouldn't listen to her, I walked over to her front door, the dog naturally following behind.

She asked me to come in and see her new kitchen. I'd been wanting to see it for a while. Today was the day! It really was splendid! After about 15 minutes or so, I left to continue my walk to the post boxes at the end of the street.

Timing is everything. A few houses down the road I happened to look over at another neighbour's property and there was Little Red Fox staring at me. I was surprised - for I didn't expect this. She (I think it was she this time because she was smaller than the one I'd seen previously), looked right at me. Then, turned unhurriedly and walked towards the driveway and into the back yard.

Wow! What is the message here? I think I need to go back and look up more meanings for Fox. Or else just keep my eyes and ears open to see what comes next.

A Very Special Day

2008-11-21T21:21:00.005-05:00

Snow falls softly outside my sitting room window. It is early morning and a pale November sun struggles to filter through dense grey clouds; the diffusion of light lending an eerie quality to the landscape.

As I peer through the curtains, this eeriness envelops me, taunting me to peek into the Unknown. Muted clouds, heavy with snow play tricks with my mind, as if in the blink of an eye, their shifting haze could reveal a secret portal to another world.

Shaking off this unease, I force myself to focus on planning the day ahead. My husband is still asleep upstairs, so I have some time to myself before starting in on our daily routine. Early morning is my favorite time of day to meditate, to dream, to write, cocooned in the warmth and safety of my home.

I pick up my pen intending to begin Morning Pages, but once again my eyes are drawn to the mesmerizing snow as it falls outside my window. Once again I feel the pull of this strange, unsettling, yet gentle light where time feels distorted. What day is it? What time is it? What millennium is it? It doesn’t matter.

Sitting here sipping my morning coffee, cat curled up on my lap, I am transported back into the past, on this day 34 years ago.

It was another day starting out just like this. I was a young mother at home in our tiny apartment, awaiting the birth of my second child. My husband had left for work – school actually.

We were planning to have this baby once my husband graduated from technical college, in the spring, but our timing was off (who can plan a baby’s birth date, anyway?) and she was due to arrive sooner than expected -this winter.

Peter, my firstborn, was an induced birth, so I had no idea what to expect this time around. I remember looking out the window that snowy day, as my 2-year-old son played quietly with his toys. The light was grey and dull, leaving me feeling restless, as if there were no markers to hold on to; nothing to indicate whether it was morning or evening.

I dutifully washed up the breakfast dishes; then waddled into the bedroom to put on some fresh clothes. As I was dressing, I noticed some blood-tinged mucus in my panties. This must be “show”, a signal that labor was beginning.

Ohhhhh, I was tingly with anticipation – and scared! I had no idea what to do next. There were no contractions, just an annoying ache in my lower back. Was it time to go to the hospital? I was alone in the apartment with my little boy and the snow was coming down relentlessly!

I willed myself to calm down. Then I called my doctor. The secretary put me through right away.

“I’m having show” I said in a trembling voice.

“Stay home. Go to bed. This is no day to have a baby!”

I was shocked! Here I was looking for guidance, reassurance, a little direction and that’s the advice I got?

So, I did the next best thing – I called my mother.

“Well, that wasn’t very nice, coming from a doctor” was her comment. I don’t even remember what else she said, but I do remember feeling soothed after talking to Mom.

The day progressed, my contractions started, hubby came home from school, and the storm raged. By ten o’clock that evening I knew I had to go to the hospital.

A neighbor down the hall took little Peter for the night. We had no car, so called for a taxi, but there were none available. Everybody who absolutely needed to be somewhere would have called a cab, instead of battling the snowy streets themselves.

Babies come when they’re ready, but having faith in the Goddess to make things right was the belief I clung to. And, miraculously, before too much longer my brother-in-law (who lived in the same apartment building) appeared at our front door. He had just come back from work, exhausted and hungry, but took the time to drive us to the hospital.

Fortunately, the snow plough had just been around (the Goddess was busy tonight) and streets were relatively clear, making driving slow, but much better than before. We didn’t have far to go, but I was relieved once the bright lights of the hospital came into view, shining like a beacon to welcome us in from the storm.

It was around midnight by the time I was finally admitted to the maternity ward.
Things progressed smoothly from then on and my beautiful baby girl was born at 2:30 in the morning, weighing just 6 ½ lbs. She was oblivious to the falling snow and hazardous road conditions of the outside world. Inside the hospital we were warm and snuggly. I gazed lovingly into her eyes and thanked the Goddess once again.

Snow continues to swirl about outside my window. Chickadees hop and play in the hedges, seemingly unaffected by the dim light of a timeless morning.

I have a feeling that Old Souls choose this mysterious light to manifest here on Earth. Maybe the Veil is thinner, at this time, making their passage easier as they softly tunnel through the fog, and into Being. Or maybe the shifting clouds and subtle light allow these wise, crafty Old Souls to slip through and into our Time.

Newer Souls may need the luminescence of a full moon in her Mother phase to guide them on their journey through the birth canal into this Earth life.

The cat stretches lazily and then jumps off my lap. As I get up off my chair and head towards the kitchen, I smile to myself, remembering that wonderous day when my daughter, Brenda came into the world. She herself has a daughter now and is expecting a son this February.

Red Fox

2008-11-19T19:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I followed my intuition and left the house to go for a walk. It was cold so I bundled up well. I was hoping the mail carriers had come to fill up the post boxes at the end of my street.
I was in luck. They were just filling the postal boxes. Even though it was early, I had a feeling that the mail would be there.

A movement caught the corner of my eye. I turned to see what I thought was a dog, but really was a little red fox with a bushy brown tail!
He was bounding through the leaves of my neighbour's property.
As soon as he saw me, he turned right around, and quick as a wink, was gone.

I looked through the trees, but couldn't find him.
This was the first time I've ever seen a real live fox.
I didn't expect to see one in a residential area, but we do get deer in the winter and rabbit in the spring.

As soon as I got home I made a cup of hot chocolate and took out Ted Andrew's book called Animal Speak.

I like to look up the meaning of animals that cross my path. This is what the book said:

"The red fox is a powerful totem. It is a totem that speaks of the need to develop or the awakening of camouflage, invisibility, and shapeshifting. It is one of the most uniquely skilled and ingenious animals of nature. It can teach these skills to those whose life it enters.
There are 21 species of fox.........Card 21 in the tarot deck is the World. It is a card that reflects a new world opening up, that the process of creation is beginning.

The fox has a long history of magic and cunning associated with it. Because it is a creature of the night, it is often imbued with supernatural power. It is most visible at the times of Dawn and Dusk, the "Between Times", when the magical world and the world in which we live intersect...... Because it is an animal of the "Between Times and Places" , it can be a guide to enter the Faerie Realm. Its appearance at such times can often signal that the Faerie Realm is about to open for the individual."

Welcome little red fox. I am grateful you showed yourself to me yesterday.
Thank you for your gifts.

My Goodness!

2008-11-18T15:55:00.000-05:00

My dearest Sherry,
I haven't even started this blog.
And yet I have a visitor.
You!

So I will begin.
I was born on All Saint's Day - November 1.
I never felt close to saints or religious figures. I grew up feeling resistant to religion, even though I wanted to "belong".
Magic drew me like a moth to a flame. Dragons and castles and witches and mermaids. How I longed for that world to be mine.

Then I discovered there was a Magic world called Wicca, Paganism, Druidism, Native American Spirituality - to name few, where people respected the Earth. They lived by listening to her whispers, watching her signs, and working in tandem. If they cut down a tree to build a home or a cook fire, they first asked permission from the tree spirit. If they drew water from a well or fished in a stream, they gave back to the Source.

Then I found out that I was really born on the Day of the Dead. A day when the Veil was the thinnest. No wonder I was drawn to the world of Spirit. No wonder I feel relaxed and happy sitting beside the ocean, walking through a forest or breathing in the sunrise.

Now things felt right, within my body, mind and soul.

Blogging has opened many doors for me. I started by blogging about my husband's illness. How difficult this Caregiving path is. How sad to see hubby suffer. My feelings were validated. Shared. I made friends. I felt support from all over the world. I admit I was surprised at just how caring other people could be. People I don't even know. But - we are all one, aren't we?

I started with Caregiving, felt it was too sad and angry, so went to gardening blogs, which cheered me up considerably. Gardeners are wonderful people, respecting and nurturing the soil. From there I met others. People who blogged about spirits, and faeries, and imaginary characters. Well, if they could blog about enchanted forests and whimsical creatures, then why couldn't I?

Home of the Faeries is my inner world.
My Caregiving blog was my outer world. I no longer want to be identified solely with Hubby's illness.
I want to voice.... me.

Won't you join me on a journey where we will dance with elves, sing with birds, hum with bees, stomp with trolls and gnomes, swim with mermaids and do whatever we please?

Welcome to my Creative World.
Let us play.